time

Back in the days when I worked full time in an office, I didn't really know what full time meant. I can recall specific moments when I would glance at the clock and sincerely believe that it hadn't moved since I had arrived earlier that morning. Gone are those days. My clock seems to move faster now than it ever has, and I'm often left wondering what I can possibly do to slow it down. Every time that a weekend arrives, I'm awakened with surprise that we have completed yet another week, again. I remember working in jobs that at times I hated so much that I would absolutely dread Mondays and count down the time until I could enjoy another weekend. Gone are those days, too. Now that I have a new definition of full time, and perhaps an ongoing new perspective on life, I look forward to every day. I was talking to a good friend the other day about how children change your world. These two girls sure have changed mine. It's lately felt a lot like non-stop work, which is much more than full time has ever been in my book. Work to discipline correctly, to hold back my own temper, to find time to play, to be okay with not accomplishing nearly as much as I'd like to, and to spend time demonstrating love. We all know what they say about payback, and Lord knows I was not always a joy to discipline growing up either. Guess it's my turn now to learn some much needed patience and balance. It's felt good to let go at times and relax, too. And it's okay to take a break and give myself some time for me. My natural instinct is that I tend to seek out productivity, and I've always done this...thinking if I accomplish more, I am more. However, I know deep down, and I'm continuing to learn each day, that doing more is not really best. If I am true to myself, and I love people the best way I know how (not even glancing at the clock)...just LOVE, I am and I'm becoming much more.